Morning, when sun is still shining

I do not say I am a victim, because I took action before being victimize. I also do not say that be part of players will make everything easier. I still feel the hurt.. it is like what I read in a Mahabarata book. Heartache just like a thorn that is stubbornly stuck inside your nail. You will not feel it in ordinary occasion, but when something or someone brushes against your finger, you feel the pain again. That is why making some distance is the best way of healing, when dealing with oblivious people.

You cannot really talk about it, because you are Asian.. and we don’t really talk about feeling. On the other hand, I fully understand that each soul needs closure. Answer why this happens and why that happens, answer of cause. It is not something unusual for me to heal myself. I endured many kinds of pain before and had to heal them myself. Simply because no one understands, even I explained. What I got was judgement. So I decided to not rely on anyone, that is also one of reasons why I don’t have problem of living alone. I detached myself from any human. Only see them when I need or really want. Loneliness hurts but I feel contempt.

Are all human I have seen always be oblivious and ignorant? No. But the wiser ones do not take any action, simply because they do not want to get involved and lost their any human friends. So I got no choice but to deal with it alone.

This situation leads to understanding that I can deal with anything alone, so nobody comes for my comfort. None of those human came for my comfort. That what leaves the scar. A reminder that you cannot trust anyone to be on your side. You cannot trust anyone to be closer, because when they hurt you, they will not come for your comfort. They forget that you are also human, just like them.

That is why I detached myself from human, and be closer to the sun.


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